I'm having an emotional week. One year ago, I was blissfully ignorant. I was enjoying the warm summer weather that was creeping up on Alaska. I was feeling so blessed as we enjoyed a BBQ for Mother's Day with family. We were so busy with the things that we enjoy -- church events, fundraisers for the kids' schools, spending time with friends & family, finishing up a 4-year stint on the preschool Board of Directors. Then I had my mammogram.

Yes, it was one year ago this week that I was diagnosed with breast cancer and life changed so dramatically overnight. I had seen my OB, and she had found a lump, but she wasn't overwhelmingly alarmed by it. It didn't feel like a normal cancerous lump. She expected it was fibrous, and so did I. We were wrong.

As I experience this one-year anniversary of my diagnosis I'm a bit surprised at just what an emotional week I'm having reliving this week of 2009. Today I had my OB appointment and was surprised at the wellspring of emotion that flowed from me. I thanked her for finding the lump last year. I haven't seen her since that day -- I was quickly moved to surgeons and oncologists who could guide my journey of this past year with greater expertise. Seeing her today was an unexpected emotional release. She advised me that I should expect a lot of that this week -- that the body holds those triggers even when we don't consciously remember them that will somehow trigger that memory of "May 14, 2009." It might be something as simple as enjoying the warm sunny weather, and have that be a trigger to remind me of life last year at this time.

I'm so grateful to be where I am right now rather than where I was last year, when I was still looking forward and not quite understanding all that the next year would have in store for me. I had no idea a year ago when I was enjoying Mother's Day last year that I would be so stinking grateful to just be around enjoying my kids and being their mom this year.

So thanks everybody. Thanks for your friendship and your care through this past year. For caring enough to catch up with me via this blog. For all the ways that you have all helped me to survive 2009. For understanding if I'm a bit more weepy this week than normal. It's been quite a year -- and I'm very much looking forward to celebrating that one year anniversary of surgery -- by boarding that plane to Athens.

Update: I'm doing all my one-year post diagnosis testing this week. Undoubtedly, this is also having some part in my general weepiness. Saw the OB today and she felt nothing unusual. Just got a call from the surgeon and the MRI looks clean. Now for the mammogram this week and I am hoping that I'll have a trifecta of good news.