This week I had a check up with my oncologist. It was fairly cool to recognize that I WAS NOT a complete mess at the prospect of my doctor's visit. Since May 2009 when all of this hit our lives, my oncologist visits have been a time of a certain amount of anxiety. It was great to realize that I have gotten to the point where these visits are more of a scheduling issue than an emotional one.

When I went to the lab the day before the visit, they had to do some serious searching for my orders and kept asking me for my name again. This was also awesome. I used to spend so much time in the lab that they didn't even have to ask my name upon my arrival. Now, I'm just another of their many patients.

My doctor says that my labs show that they have succeeded in doing what they set out to do -- make my body chemistry similar to that of a little old lady. As a result I'm creaky, hot, and (worst of all) gaining weight despite an hour a day 6 days a week on my elliptical. It's a bummer (especially that weight gain one) but I'm reminding myself of how overjoyed I was when I found out that I was eligible for this drug because it has an outstanding track record for keeping that cancer at bay.

I'm also feeling lucky because a friend who was my office mate back when we were poor interns living in Washington DC in search of a free/cheap meal had a mastectomy today. She has 3 year old and 9 month old. She's just starting her journey. I'm grateful to be on this end.