Yesterday was my one year anniversary of completing chemo and I found it to be much more emotional than expected. They talk a lot about "how many years" you've been a survivor of cancer, so I once asked my oncologist "how do I get to start counting? What's the date to count as the official date?" She said that most people start counting from the end of active treatment (which would be yesterday for me) but that she suggests celebrating as often as possible -- celebrate on the day that you had surgery and had no noticeable cancer left. Celebrate the end of active treatment. Celebrate it all.

I'd like to say that I "celebrated" yesterday. I was emotional for sure. I was awash in a feeling of gratitude to be here rather than there. I am grateful for the year of living I just had which I no longer take for granted. I'm grateful for access to treatment and for being done with that treatment as a friend starts her 8 rounds of chemo next Monday. I am grateful for the friends and family that I now see all around me and remember the acts of kindness that came at me from all sides during that tumultuous year. I am grateful for hair. And eye brows!

However, I fear that even one year out, I've already become so busy and immersed in regular life, that I didn't give the day its due. I was too busy running from here to there, getting kids to various activities, overseeing homework, making dinner, working, etc. I'm celebrating later this morning with a pedicure and a friend -- a much needed break to enjoy friends amidst these very busy days. But I need to take the time to not only just remember and feel grateful, but to be able to stop and enjoy this life I've been given a bit. I don't know exactly how I'm going to do it but I'll start trying to think it through.