I'm hoping and praying that I'm through the worst of chemo cycle #4. Words to live by for this next round-- no more infections! No more infections! This cycle seemed a bit harder than past ones. I don't know if it's because of surgery the prior week, or the cumulative effect of the drugs, or getting used to chemo while juggling school and activity schedules for the kids. I'm just glad to be on the upswing.

Now that I'm not curled up in a cave, I look back and think -- well, maybe it wasn't so bad. But then I remember that on Friday and Saturday I was crying for sleep (13 hours on Saturday night alone, and that was after a 2 hour nap that afternoon!) and begging for something -- anything -- that would make my stomach calm down. Something happens mentally around the 4th day post chemo where it feels like I may never come out of the funk, and thinking about the road ahead seems daunting ("what, you mean I have to do this 2 more times? Plus reconstruction surgery, which is actually several surgeries to include reconstruction, a separate breast lift for symmetry on the other side, a separate surgery to create a nipple, and then a separate nipple tattoo surgery!!! Ahhh!! I can't do it!). Then the next day, the nausea simmers down, I get enough energy to get off the couch, and I return to a healthier mental state where I can again think "no sweat -- I can do it!"

The nausea was more prominent this time around -- trying to find a food that my stomach wanted was challenging. Strangely, this time it was Corn-Meal Crusted Ravioli, a Rachel Ray recipe that I make from time to time. I saw a commercial for ravioli and somehow knew that that was the one thing that would make my stomach not feel nauseous. In a show of how to be a great husband, Greg didn't question me-- he just headed immediately for the nearest grocery store and came home to make them for me. Eating food that doesn't make you nauseous goes a long way towards making you feel more human again. Go Rachel Ray! A good recipe even if you're not post-chemo. She recommends eating them with lemon glazed turkey cutlets -- but in my mind it's the raviolis that are the star of the show.Try it here:

Ingredients:
12-4-ounce package fresh ravioli filled with cheese, spinach or mushroom and cheese
Salt
1 cup cornmeal, (eyeball it)
1/4 cup grated Parmigiano Reggiano or Romano, (a couple of handfuls)
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg, freshly grated or ground
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (EVOO)
2 tablespoons butter

Preparation:
Place a large pot of water to boil over high heat. Add a healthy dose of salt to boiling water to season it. Add ravioli and cook to package directions for al dente. Pour cornmeal onto a plate and combine with grated cheese, then season with nutmeg and black pepper. Heat a medium nonstick skillet over moderate heat and add 1 tablespoon EVOO and 1 tablespoon butter. Drain ravioli. Dust hot, cooked ravioli with cornmeal. Add coated ravioli to the skillet and brown on both sides, 3-4 minutes total.