Isn't it unfortunate that kids don't pop out of the womb with perfect manners? In fact, it takes an awfully darned long time to instill them.

I was reminded of that again this past weekend. Cate accidentally brushed up against a fossil that Christopher was given by his teacher. It fell and one of the fossils is now dust on the ground (a few other fossils in the same slab of rock survived). It survived thousands of years until being brought into the Loudon house -- here it lasted a week.

Christopher was obviously devastated, and with some reason. Still, it was an accident. And disappointment doesn't give you free reign with yelling and saying hurtful things. Christopher let slip something like "I never want to see you again!" to his sister. She was then the devastated one.

Greg and I talked about the fact that it would sure be nice if we never had mean comments come out of our kids' mouths. Or that by age 9 they had been grown out of this unfortunate reality. Then I remember that there are many adults who are still struggling with how to control their lips. I guess the reality is that learning (and teaching) this control takes years of practice.

In the meantime I can console myself with the fact that after some discussion and active parenting, Christopher realized that no "thing" was worth more than the relationship he has with his sister and that yelling would not solve any of his problems. I think he also realized that he has at times done something on accident that he later regretted. On his own, he went up to the office and made her a big card reading "I'm sorry that I yelled at you Cate. I love you very much, from your brother."

Cate reciprocated with her own card, which read "Sorry. I love you Yor (sic) the best bub (that's her loving nickname for her brother -- she likes it because she can spell it on her own). From Cate."

Crisis averted. I guess at the end of the day you realize the importance of the parenting component. Left to their own devices, the mean words would be the end of the story. I wish that they never were the START of the story, and most likely someday that will be the case. In the meantime, I guess I'll have to live with the fact that they're at least learning the lessons of reconciliation.